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Kevin Blackistone

Following in Dad's Footsteps, McNair's Boys Now Face Fatherless Future

Posted Jul 06, 2009 8:00PM By Kevin Blackistone (RSS feed)

Filed Under: NFL

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Steve McNair and son from 2005Most of us would be lying to ourselves if we didn't admit that Father's Day has become little more than another reason to rush to a greeting card store or kiosk. It is only for those of us whose memory of having lost our dad is still raw that the holiday resonates as it should.

It is against that backdrop, however, that made the third Sunday of June, when we are annually reminded to be thankful of our fathers, so refreshing. That Father's Day was restored to a purposeful rung for all to see. The President of the United States, Barack Obama, who grew up without the man who begot him, held a Father's Day event at the White House.

"I had a heroic mom and wonderful grandparents who helped raise me and my sister, and it's because of them that I'm able to stand here today," the president told kids, community organizers and dads like Dwyane Wade and Alonzo Mourning whom he invited. "But despite all their extraordinary love and attention, that doesn't mean that I didn't feel my father's absence. That's something that leaves a hole in a child's heart that a government can't fill."

It is too bad the father of four boys -- Junior, Steven, Tyler and Trenton McNair -- wasn't in the president's audience.

I certainly don't know whether those boys would be fatherless today had their dad, Steve McNair, witnessed in person the president's plea for dads not to forget or forsake their progeny. I don't know whether the event would have led the recently retired star quarterback back to the woman he married in 1997, Mechelle, with whom he was rearing his family.

I don't know if President Obama's heartfelt words would have convinced Air McNair, as he was known, to walk away from an affair he was having with a woman only a few years older than his eldest son, Junior, who is scheduled to graduate from high school next year. I can only guess whether the president's effort would've brought McNair to reevaluate his situation and weigh again whether it was worth risking whatever he had.

This isn't about passing judgment, though I wonder why and how a man like McNair could wind up in what turned out a fatal situation.

All I know is that four more kids -- four more black kids, four more black boys, especially -- were just tossed into what can be an abyss of growing up without a dad after their father, Steve McNair, and a woman he was dating, Sahel Kazemi, were found on the Fourth of July shot to death in a condo McNair leased. McNair was 36; Kazemi turned 20 in May.

Steve McNair Tragedy

    NASHVILLE, TN - JULY 6: Former Tennessee Titan Eddie George attends a press conference in reaction to the death of former Titan star quarterback Steve McNair July 6, 2009 in Nashville, Tennessee. McNair was found shot to death in a Nashville condominium on July 4th, his girlfreinds' body was also found at the scene. (Photo by Rusty Russell/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Eddie George

    Getty Images

    NASHVILLE, TN - JULY 6: Former Tennessee Titan Eddie George attends a press conference in reaction to the death of former Titan star quarterback Steve McNair July 6, 2009 in Nashville, Tennessee. McNair was found shot to death in a Nashville condominium on July 4th, his girlfreinds' body was also found at the scene. (Photo by Rusty Russell/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Eddie George

    Getty Images

    NASHVILLE, TN - JULY 6: Former Tennessee Titan Eddie George attends a press conference in reaction to the death of former Titan star quarterback Steve McNair July 6, 2009 in Nashville, Tennessee. McNair was found shot to death in a Nashville condominium on July 4th, his girlfreinds' body was also found at the scene. (Photo by Rusty Russell/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Eddie George

    Getty Images

    NASHVILLE, TN - JULY 6: Tennessee Titans Coach Jeff Fisher speaks at a press conference in reaction to the death of former Titan star quarterback Steve McNair July 6, 2009 in Nashville, Tennessee. McNair was found shot to death in a Nashville condominium on July 4th, his girlfreinds' body was also found at the scene. (Photo by Rusty Russell/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Jeff Fisher

    Getty Images

    NASHVILLE, TN - JULY 6: Tennessee Titans Coach Jeff Fisher speaks at a press conference in reaction to the death of former Titan star quarterback Steve McNair July 6, 2009 in Nashville, Tennessee. McNair was found shot to death in a Nashville condominium on July 4th, his girlfreinds' body was also found at the scene. (Photo by Rusty Russell/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Jeff Fisher

    Getty Images

    NASHVILLE, TN - JULY 6: Former Tennessee Titans players Eddie George (L) and Brad Hopkins attend a press conference in reaction to the death of former Titan star quarterback Steve McNair July 6, 2009 in Nashville, Tennessee. McNair was found shot to death in a Nashville condominium on July 4th, his girlfreinds' body was also found at the scene. (Photo by Rusty Russell/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Brad Hopkins;Eddie George

    Getty Images

    NASHVILLE, TN - JULY 6: Tennessee Titans Coach Jeff Fisher speaks at a press conference in reaction to the death of former Titan star quarterback Steve McNair July 6, 2009 in Nashville, Tennessee. McNair was found shot to death in a Nashville condominium on July 4th, his girlfreinds' body was also found at the scene. (Photo by Rusty Russell/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Jeff Fisher

    Getty Images

    NASHVILLE, TN - JULY 6: Tennessee Titans Coach Jeff Fisher speaks at a press conference in reaction to the death of former Titan star quarterback Steve McNair July 6, 2009 in Nashville, Tennessee. McNair was found shot to death in a Nashville condominium on July 4th, his girlfreinds' body was also found at the scene. (Photo by Rusty Russell/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Jeff Fisher

    Getty Images

    NASHVILLE, TN - JULY 6: Tennessee Titans Coach Jeff Fisher speaks at a press conference in reaction to the death of former Titan star quarterback Steve McNair July 6, 2009 in Nashville, Tennessee. McNair was found shot to death in a Nashville condominium on July 4th, his girlfreinds' body was also found at the scene. (Photo by Rusty Russell/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Jeff Fisher

    Getty Images

    NASHVILLE, TN - JULY 6: A single bunch of flowers lies at the entrance to the Tennessee Titans offices and practice facility as team officials prepare for a press conference in reaction to the death of former Titan star quarterback Steve McNair July 6, 2009 in Nashville, Tennessee. McNair was found shot to death in a Nashville condominium on July 4th, his girlfreinds' body was also found at the scene. (Photo by Rusty Russell/Getty Images)

    Getty Images


The things we are learning with every passing hour about this event are as troubling as they are horrific. None of it adds up to the quarterback, No. 9, we thought we knew from the touchdown passes he threw on television or the contributions he made to the Boys and Girls Clubs, and Katrina victims. We never really know our athletic heroes, of course, anymore than we do anyone else we see only through the media's lens. Who knew, for example, that South Carolina's Governor Mark Sanford was gallivanting in South America with a woman that was not his wife or the mother of his children?

In the aftermath of the dual deadly shooting deaths of McNair and Kazemi, police have mostly speculated that McNair was killed by Kazemi and Kazemi committed suicide. There is no doubt about one thing, however: in the end, McNair's wealth and fame didn't shield his boys from what is the precarious upbringing of the single-mother home that so many, particularly in the black community, must navigate.

Money, or the lack of it, has a lot to do with rearing children, of course. "It Takes a Village" is nice appropriate African proverb by Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. But this is America where net worth unfortunately is more important than self worth. Maybe McNair's multimillionaire earnings from his days starring in the NFL can cushion the rest of the ride for his boys from childhood and adolescence to manhood.

But McNair's children are now at greater risk than others to meet a host of troubles. They are more likely to fail in school, to use drugs, to become teen parents and to commit crimes than they would have been with him around. It isn't that such things can't befall kids from homes that look like the ideal. Ask Eagles coach Andy Reid, who has a couple of sons who've run afoul of the law, or even retired coach Tony Dungy, who championed family as coming first but lost a son to suicide.

Growing up is never easy. But it just got inexorably -- and unnecessarily -- more difficult for the McNair boys. That is the rest of this event's tragedy. It is, it always is. It becomes about the ones -- the youngest ones -- left behind.

There are way too many kids in this country growing up without dads in their lives, upwards of 24 million. That's roughly one out of every three kids. For black kids, the ratio jumps to about two out of three.

Most have dad somewhere around. The McNair boys are now among the most unfortunate of that lot with their dad deceased. It is one thing to lose dad to a horrible disease or accident. It is another thing, I can't help but imagine, to lose him to violence like this, as opposed to violence serving his community or country.

Now it is on their mom, Mechelle, to carry them forth alone, just like too many black women in particular are left to do these days.

McNair knew as much. He and his four brothers were reared by a single mom, Lucille, in rural Mississippi. He had athletic talent. It carried him to college and he fashioned it into a long and lucrative pro football career.

Maybe McNair's four sons will walk the same path. If they do, they'll be what he had been till last weekend: lucky.

Kevin B. Blackistone is a panelist on ESPN's Around the Horn and the Shirley Povich Chair in Sports Journalism at the Philip Merrill College of Journalism at the University of Maryland. A former award-winning sports columnist for The Dallas Morning News, he currently lives in Silver Spring, Md

Tags: Sahel+Kazemi, Steve+McNair

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Kevin Blackistone

Kevin BlackistoneKevin B. Blackistone is a national columnist and commentator for FanHouse.com. He is a regular panelist on ESPN's sports-debate show, "Around The Horn,'' seen Monday through Friday at 5 p.m. ET. Blackistone currently serves as the Shirley Povich Chair in Sports Journalism at the Philip Merrill College of Journalism at the University of Maryland. A former award-winning sports columnist for The Dallas Morning News, he currently lives in Silver Spring, Md.