Controversy Pays: Flip Out and Cash In

If there is one truth about outrageous behavior it is that the only people who really wind up paying for it are companies seeing an opportunity to cash in, like Volkswagen with a screaming Bob Knight or American Express with an apologetic John McEnroe or, fresh off Madison Avenue, a ballistic Serena Williams firing away at Mother Nature.

But why stop at just a few athletes gone wild? There are a lot of other stars of our games whose personalities would do wonders for some other hawkers of products and ideas.

For Nationwide Auto Insurance: Renault F1 principal Flavio Briatore, chief engineer Pat Symonds and driver Nelson Piquet Jr., who purposely caused an accident to help teammate Fernando Alonso win a race.

For StubHub: The Washington Redskins, who admitted recently to having sold top-priced tickets to scalpers.

For Match.com: Dirk Nowitzki, who found out last season that his girlfriend at the time, Cristal Taylor, was a criminal with several alias wanted by police in another state.

For Cleto Reyes Boxing Gloves, the world's best: Oregon running back LeGarrette Blount, who was suspended for the rest of the year after knocking out Boise State defensive end Byron Hout with a straight right after the end of their season-opening contest earlier this month.

For Toastmasters International, the public speaking teaching group: Michael Jordan.

For Mentos Chewing Gum ("There's nothing like a Mentos kiss"): Richard Gasquet, who was suspended from the tennis circuit after testing positive for cocaine in March at the Sony Ericsson Open in Key Biscayne, Fla., after, he said, he was inadvertently contaminated from kissing a woman at a Miami nightclub.

For the Anti-Defamation League: Toni Valtonen, the MMA tomato can adorned with a swastika tattoo on his shoulder and the words "white pride" inked on his back.

For Dale Carnegie Training (How to Win Friends and Influence People): Washington inactive rookie linebacker Robert Henson, who apologized for tweeting that Washington fans who booed their favorite team's 9-7 win Sunday over the Rams were, among other things, "dim wits."

For the Edward R. Murrow College of Communication at Washington State University: Boxing analyst Max Kellerman, who in interviewing Floyd Mayweather last weekend after Mayweather beat Juan Miguel Marquez, lost control of his microphone and ego.

For Galco Gunleather, the maker of Don Johnson's shoulder holster on Miami Vice: Plaxico Burress, who reported to prison Thursday on a weapons conviction after an unlicensed handgun tucked in his waistband slipped down his leg and fired into his right thigh in a New York nightclub.

For eHarmony: San Diego Chargers linebacker Shawne Merriman, who was arrested on an accusation that he choked and manhandled girlfriend Tila Tequila, a MTV reality show persona and near-porn star whose real last name is Nguyen.

For Crock-Pot: Boston Red Sox reliever Jonathan Papelbon, who earlier this month was fined yet again for slowing down a game with his deliberations on the mound.

For Party City, the party supply store: French Grandmaster Vladislav Tkachiev, who arrived for a match in India earlier this month in such an inebriated state that he could hardly sit in his chair and soon fell asleep.

For CareerBuilder.com: Jeff Jagodzinski, who dared leave his head coaching job last season at Boston College after two years for an offensive coordinator's position with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, who fired him before this season began.

For Mister Microphone: Floyd Mayweather, who hastened Max Kellerman's meltdown by grabbing the microphone from Kellerman and announcing, "I'm going to do the talking 'cause you do too much talking."

For ADT Security: 71-year-old Australian swimming great Dawn Fraser, who last month fought off an intruder at her home by grabbing him "by the ear and ... [kicking] him in the groin."

For the 10th anniversary this year of My Left Foot starring Daniel Day Lewis: Houston Rockets center Yao Ming, who said this week he is encouraged by his progress from a second surgery to repair his left foot but probably won't play this season.

For The Etiquette School of New York: Roger Federer, who was overheard during a changeover in the U.S. Open Final telling the referee he didn't give a "$%&*" what his opponent said.

For Bobbleheads.com: Mets All-Star third baseman David Wright, who took briefly to wearing an oversized batting helmet after suffering yet another concussion from a beaning.

For DesignatedDriver.com: Chicago Blackhawks winger Patrick Kane, who was arrested last month in Buffalo, N.Y., on a charge of robbing a cab driver in a dispute over the fare following a night on Chippewa Street, an area in Buffalo known for its nightclubs.

For the National Mediation Board: Florida coach Urban Meyer and Tennessee coach Lane Kiffin, who this week for the second time since last year had to be told by Southeastern Conference commissioner Mike Slive to knock off their public sniping.

For PhRMA, the pharmaceutical lobby: the list is too long.